Wednesday, November 28, 2012

motivational speech.

Yesterday I broke into tears when my boyfriend came home from work because "the scale of the lamp by the desk is all wrong but we can't buy a new one right now!"

I need to have our place clean and in ship shape by Sunday for something I've been looking forward to. I'm excited, but it's stressing me out. Instead of doing small tasks one at a time, I have been sitting, frozen, while the list of things I need to do whips through my head. 

I would like to give myself a swift slap across the cheek or grab myself by the shoulders and shake some sense into me, like a character in an old black and white film might do. I'll deliver a line like, "Get a hold of yourself, damn it!" or "For God's sake, pull yourself together!" In my head, I'm a man wearing a hat and smoking a cigar as I do this.

A Woman is a Woman, Godard

And that's where I'm at today.